How to be a sysadmin and live to be 100

I used all sorts of books from O’Reilly many times. Now, all of a sudden, to cook a recipe in Perl, then to fix something urgently in Bind. Or all of a sudden you need to talk on a “programmer hair dryer” – regular expressions, therefore. The whole kitchen is in
your favorite publishing house. But the life of a sysadmin is not only about reading books and documentation. The system administrator is a living person. He is also not alien to the joys of human life. For a while, while you’re young, it seems that neither Chinese noodles nor quick meals at the workplace can turn you off the path of the IT Jedi. Pepsi, kitten pies, fast foods, many went through this survival school. Until one day you start looking between the lines in the O’Reilly books for homemade pizza recipes. 

Our service is both dangerous and difficult

The work of a system administrator for someone, especially a boss, may seem easy and irresponsible. Often they remember the sysadmin when something breaks. For example, the client-bank is not working on the eve of the salary payment, or the server kicked up from the heat and the domain controller was covered.

A sad admin appears out of nowhere, muttering something under his breath. “Who builds like that! Well, who builds like that? “

Steadfastly enduring the cries of the chief accountant, director and other bosses, brings to life the entire system of the enterprise. Then, after fits of rage, the good uncles and aunts, the bosses, thank, shake hands and give tea. But believe me, a spoonful of
valerian would be much better.

Many unfavorable factors affect the system administrator during his work. A busy work schedule, constant search for know-how in the computer world, overload of information flows, the requirement to think outside the box
(go there I don’t know where), possession of related areas of knowledge (accounting, office work), an increased or paranoid attitude to security, adverse radiation from computer technology, small work space, often poorly ventilated, variable work hours, shifted meals, overtime and other factors.

Admin health to you, gentlemen

Indeed, with such strenuous work, “it is difficult to be God”! So if you are healthy, have no weight loss and good eyesight, you are the ideal administrator. Congratulations!

For the rest, you can give some useful recipes from “grandparents” in system administration.

Get the authorities to understand that the deterioration of the health of the system administrator is directly proportional to the work of the enterprise. It’s good enough to get tired in a week, to twitch from calls on Saturday, Sunday, so that on Monday, almost falling asleep, confusing servers, overload the working minutes by 10 in the midst of work. Didn’t you have that? You are a lucky person!

The air in the room where the sysadmin works must be conditioned. Otherwise, the brakes and freezes on your brain will surpass the brakes of the personal computer of an employee of Luzerny with Windows XP, 128 MB of RAM and Kaspersky Anti-Virus installed. Always ask yourself what the cost of your error and plant downtime is.

The room, the location of your workplace should be adequate to your ambitions. If you want to have healthy offspring, not live on energizers alone, demand a separate workplace. This should not be a former pantry with leaking pipes or a place in a secretary’s room. In order to assemble a cluster of two computers breathing in incense on Linux OS, you need divine silence.

The monitor must be very good, because only complete nerds can work constantly reading from a bad monitor.

Choose the quietest system unit, otherwise your nervous system will start to malfunction very soon. This will instantly affect your ability to play WoW.

All diseases are from nerves, so try to be more positive. Don’t have a 1C backup? The air conditioner in the server room died? Smile, relax. Read, call the secretary, and ask him about the recursive acronym, they say, you need to buy along with a stapler and a USB coffee maker. Mentally enter the image of your WoW hero, recharge with powerful energy against mate, reproaches and bonus cuts. Remember, your nervous system is actually the northbridge on an enterprise motherboard. Be in nature more often, let all static charges go to the ground. Computers are a good thing, but they will not replace a picnic in nature with barbecue, wine and girls. Learn to drink green tea instead of coffee. Someday the body will thank you very much. Stimulate your desire to exercise. Encourage yourself for this in every way. Finally, get your courage up and start going to the gym. Do not confuse it with a sports bar. Exercise with iron restores physical fitness like nothing else. Who dares to shout in your back, they say, the botanist went, after two years of physical training in the hall? Eat something that you will not be ashamed of later. Hot, freshly prepared food is what you deserve. Have the enikeishiki suck in Chinese noodles mixed with dihydrogen monoxide and creepy spices. You must have 1st, 2nd and 3rd, like az, beeches, lead. Asceticism is useful for the sysadmin, but don’t make a cult out of this – keep it simple, eat delicious food. A thermos with hot borscht is better than a pie with a suspicious smell. The Japanese are known to blow various stimulating aromas into the air at certain times of the day. Where are we to them, but citrus smells are on sale today – use them for health. Understand the main thing – you deserve a happy and healthy life!

local_offerevent_note November 9, 2020

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