Lying is a concept that has been controversial for millennia. Everyone has their own opinion about whether not telling the truth is a lie and whether a lie can be good “for the sake of salvation.” There is a concept of compulsive lying – in such cases, lying becomes a daily habit, part of a way of life. One told untruth is superimposed on another, the lie grows like a snowball, and the person can no longer stop. We have selected ten signs that may or may not indicate compulsive lying.
You tell lies
to make you seem better
Unfortunately, lying often starts with low self-esteem – and the person comes up with interesting stories to seem more attractive to the interlocutor. Sometimes he does not even wait for a question to tell his story, but tries to attract attention with its help . It happens that compulsive liars say that they are allegedly seriously ill (for example, with a common cold, they “admit” that they have AIDS); and all this – from the thirst for attention and attempts to evoke pity.
You develop a fictional story day after day
Compulsive lies are usually consistent and logical when one plot continues another. Such a lie is not caused by a strong desire to hide something – who among us, in the end, being late for work, did not invent a story about a stuck elevator. On the contrary , with compulsive lies, there are no obvious reasons for it, but it continues just like that, just to support the developed legend. True, in children, fictional stories with non-existent characters (like Carlson) are most likely a normal part of the development of the psyche.
You don’t feel guilty or uncomfortable when you cheat
If lying has become second nature, then it may not cause unpleasant sensations – as well as being caught red-handed. According to some sources, pathological liars are not at all upset by the exposure, according to others – they perceive it with anger and aggression, but in any case do not feel the pangs of conscience, and sometimes they try to come up with a new lie to replace the old one. If you feel uncomfortable or sad, having told a lie, most likely, you do not suffer from compulsive or pathological lies.
Have you ever been diagnosed with a personality disorder
Compulsive lying can be associated with mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Attempts to hide alcoholism, gambling addiction or an eating disorder can also lead to lies developing to pathological. It turns out that all of these conditions increase the risk of compulsive lying; of course, they require consultation with a specialist and a serious approach to treatment.
to justify yourself
Coming up with a story about a three-hour traffic jam, so as not to admit that you overslept? Are you telling that you were poisoned by something, when in fact a hangover prevents you from leaving the house? Such lies are not compulsive, they are associated with a slight feeling of shame inherent in every person for what they have done and, perhaps, with certain ethical and social frameworks of our life. Indeed, colleagues will not suffer if they do not learn the truth, and at the same time your reputation will not suffer.
Hyperbole is a simple literary trick that makes jokes funnier, but if you exaggerate every little detail, it could be a sign of compulsive lies. The need to constantly embellish may be related to the first item on this list – the desire to appear more interesting. Think about whether you often exaggerate the facts when talking to others – and why you need it if the truth is easy and pleasant to speak.
Your lies are not social
Praising a grandma’s pie that you didn’t like, or telling a friend that she has a very cool new hair color (although the previous one seemed better to you), this is the so-called social lie, part of the usual interaction of people with each other, a product of politeness and ethical norms. There is nothing wrong with that, and such moments only help maintain a good relationship. The most unpleasant thing that such a lie can lead to: every time you visit your grandmother, the same unloved cake will be waiting for you.
You take other people’s stories for yourself
Compulsive liars are often exposed precisely because something in their stories seems familiar to those around them – and then it turns out that it was a retelling of a news release or the plot of a book, but with himself as the main character. In such cases, when history is repeated many times, a person often begins to believe that this happened to him – and even a lie detector can show that he is telling the truth.
You’ve already been caught in a lie
Have you been told that you often lie? Did you have problems with lying as a child? Has your habit of lying ruined your relationship with your friend or loved one? These signs clearly indicate compulsive lying. Usually, close people are able to endure the antics of those whom they love for a long time: if they still make comments to you, then it seems that things have gone too far.
You’re lying out of boredom
Sometimes the habit of compulsive lies develops due to the fact that a person lacks emotions, “adrenaline” or interesting events in life. If this is your case, it might make sense to redirect energy into creativity – start writing a fiction book or take up abstract painting. It is also usually within our power to add variety to everyday life – you can always try an extreme sport.